After spending three and a half years lamenting the fact that every other mother seems to have her shit in order so much better than I do, I spent an uncomfortably large portion of my day cleaning poop from my clothes, a baby’s clothes, the carpet, my hands, a baby’s bum (and back and leg and foot and neck and ear and hair), tripping over Lincoln Logs, and eating only an ice cream sandwich and a diet cream soda to help provide sustenance for my day. Right now, my 6-month old is chewing on a dog toy. But, at least he’s quiet and content. And, frankly, the dog has never played with it, anyway.
I beat myself up a whole lot because everyone else seemed to do parenthood with much greater success than I. But, I think I have come to a place where I am willing to admit just what kind of mom I am and am not. And, I think that I am ready to declare that I simply am who I am.
I am just not that kind of mom who-
*makes cake pops decorated like little brown-spotted cows who have tiny chocolate chips for ears.
*thinks that going to the grocery store with two kids is a good idea because an outing for them will be “fun.”
*vaccuums every day.
*is sad and bored when both children happen to be napping at the same time.
*remembers to send in valentines/Christmas cookies/Halloween candy/Easter eggs for all the other little kids at preschool. Seriously, if it is a rule, please just tell me so I can go to the bakery. Otherwise, don’t look at me like I am a total moron when I don’t show up at 8:00 with freshly baked cookies and holiday-themed Pez dispensers.
*wakes up in the morning before cries/complaints/whines/taps on the shoulder from one or both children force me to get out of bed.
*makes a hot breakfast more than once a week (or month…).
*knows how to say “boo-boo,” “pee-pee,” and “widdle cutie-patootie” without sounding like an idiot.
So, if you ARE the kind of mom who wakes up every morning, makes pancakes, knows all the Wiggles songs, runs behind a jogging stroller, has time to shower, wears make-up to the supermarket, thinks Moon Sand is fun to play with and sings Julie Andrews songs on-key, perhaps this is not the blog for you…