Off Duty Mom

Thoughts from an exhausted mom who is NEVER really "off duty"

Archive for the tag “going to the grocery store”

I’m just not that kind of mom

After spending three and a half years lamenting the fact that every other mother seems to have her shit in order so much better than I do, I spent an uncomfortably large portion of my day cleaning poop from my clothes, a baby’s clothes, the carpet, my hands, a baby’s bum (and back and leg and foot and neck and ear and hair), tripping over Lincoln Logs, and eating only an ice cream sandwich and a diet cream soda to help provide sustenance for my day.  Right now, my 6-month old is chewing on a dog toy.  But, at least he’s quiet and content.  And, frankly, the dog has never played with it, anyway.

I beat myself up a whole lot because everyone else seemed to do parenthood with much greater success than I.  But, I think I have come to a place where I am willing to admit just what kind of mom I am and am not.  And, I think that I am ready to declare that I simply am who I am.

I am just not that kind of mom who-

Where will the cuteness end?

 *makes cake pops decorated like little brown-spotted cows who have tiny chocolate chips for ears.

 *thinks that going to the grocery store with two kids is a good idea because an outing for them will be “fun.”

 *vaccuums every day.

 *is sad and bored when both children happen to be napping at the same time.

 *remembers to send in valentines/Christmas cookies/Halloween candy/Easter eggs for all the other little kids at preschool.  Seriously, if it is a rule, please just tell me so I can go to the bakery.  Otherwise, don’t look at me like I am a total moron when I don’t show up at 8:00 with freshly baked cookies and holiday-themed Pez dispensers.

 *wakes up in the morning before cries/complaints/whines/taps on the shoulder from one or both children force me to get out of bed.

 *makes a hot breakfast more than once a week (or month…).

 *knows how to say “boo-boo,” “pee-pee,” and “widdle cutie-patootie” without sounding like an idiot.

Moon Sand -- never dries out (and never cleans up -- ever)

So, if you ARE the kind of mom who wakes up every morning, makes pancakes, knows all the Wiggles songs, runs behind a jogging stroller, has time to shower, wears make-up to the supermarket, thinks Moon Sand is fun to play with and sings Julie Andrews songs on-key, perhaps this is not the blog for you…

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