I was a total nerd as a kid.
I got picked on — big time.
The cool girls used to throw popcorn at me when I ate lunch alone in the cafeteria in 7th grade. I was usually alone, cafeteria or not.
I didn’t date a whole lot, but I grew into myself as I got a bit older. However, when I was a younger teen, I would snuggle up on my side in my bed with a pillow and I would lay my head on it and pretend that it was my boyfriend who was letting me nuzzle into his shoulder.
I had daydreams about meeting a boy who would not know that I was such an outcast and he’d like me just because I have intrinsic value.
I had this incredibly silly fantasy that this magical boy would really know the real me and he wouldn’t judge me because I wasn’t wearing the coolest clothes. He would know all of my idiosyncrasies like how I only ever eat French Fries two-at-a-time.
Eventually, I met an amazing man who became my husband. We fell in love and made a house a home and are living happily ever after.
But, it was just a few weeks ago when my oldest son, age 5, mentioned that he wanted to eat his fries “just like mommy” and he popped two Five Guys hand-cut French Fries into his mouth.
Somewhere in my torn adolescent soul I felt sure that my time would come and I would meet the man of my dreams and he would fulfill all of my silly musings about love and he would make up for all of the emotional bruising I had muddled through.
I just never expected the man of my dreams to be my 5-year old son.