Off Duty Mom

Thoughts from an exhausted mom who is NEVER really "off duty"

Archive for the tag “80’s”

Owning Up

In a recent post, I lamented the fact that popular culture has generaly sucked of late and that my children are, essentially, growing up in a vacuous abyss of mindless, useless, thoughtless “entertainment.”

I admit today, publicly, on the internet, that it’s, like, not all bad or all that new.  In fact, I will admit here, for the first time, that I have, um, actually enjoyed the abyss.  A little.

Since my youth in the 80’s and 90’s, I have been interested in movies, music, books, and television.  Perhaps I have been too interested, really.  Nevertheless, I admit here today that there may be in inherent cultural standard for television-watching, or that there just may at least be some kind of a benefit to brain-rotting entertainment media altogether.

If I hadn’t had baseline familiarity with The Smurfs, Blossom, Saved By The Bell, and Saturday Night Live (when it was good), there would have been a whole slew of conversations in which I couldn’t participate.  The 14-year old version of water-cooler-conversations included chats about The Real World (the ORIGINAL in New York — how cute was Eric?) while we sat on the bleachers trying to do as little as possible in gym class.  It was hard enough just growing up.  Period.  But, to add in additional awkwardness and ignorance of youth culture and contemporary society was probably no better for my upbringing than watching too much Spongebob Squrepants would have been.  So, being the pop culture junkie that I am, have been, and always will be, I will now admit to a list of 10 awesomely awful things I admit I LOVE, even though throughout my lifetime of the late 1970’s to today, I have likely watched, seen, heard or read far more stimulating, interesting, valuable and relevant examples of American media.

Whodunnit?

1.  Clue – This is just about my favorite movie ever.  I can’t even pretend to be able to give you good reasons why it ought to be or why you should remotely agree with me.  It’s campy, pointless and was likely produced for $23.  AND I LOVE IT.

2.  America’s Next Top Model – This one hurts a little.  And, I would be lying if I said that admitting to enjoying this show wasn’t made easier by the fact that I am totally anonyous on this blog.

3.  LMFAO – IAM sexy and I DO know it, y’all.  This makes me dance in my car.  I hope they keep coming out with ridiculous music so I can blast this and sing loudly when I drop my kids off at school one day.

Ahhh..a sea of khakis, hair product and teen angst...

4.  Dawson’s Creek – I didn’t get into this until after it had really picked  up momentum, and I was a little older than their target demographic, but whatever.  Dawson.  Pacey.  Joey.  Awesomeness. 

5.  James Bond (even with Daniel Craig) – I am desperately in love with James Bond.  The character.  No matter who plays him (except maybe Roger Moore.  And Timothy Dalton).  And, he loves me, too.  I am sure of it.  Why wouldn’t he?  I am very lovable.

6.  Debbie Gibson – I am not so much of a fan today as I was at the height of both her fame and my adolescent awkwardness, but I was the ULTIMATE Debbie Gibson fan.  My first slow dance was to “Foolish Beat.”  The boyfriend with whom I shared that dance also loved the song.  And now he’s gay.  True story.  Not saying one thing leads to another.  Just sayin’.

7.  Jimmy Fallon – He laughes at his own jokes, breaks character, and is getting a little old for his man-child persona.  But he makes me laugh so hard I sometimes pee a little.  To be fair, though, after having two kids this is not hard to do.

8.  Entourage – No, people, it never sucked, never ran out of steam and never lost its edge.  And, I DO hope there’s a movie.  And, it WILL be better than the “Sex and the City” movies.  (How could it NOT be?  How could ANYTHING not be?)

9.  Real World/Road Rules Challenges – I DVR this and have the priority for it set on “high.”  I can’t get enough.  I am likely the only person who watches it religiously who knows what “Road Rules” even was, but that’s okay.  I have come to a place where I am at peace with my love of Johnny Bananas and Mr. Beautiful.  I really don’t need counseling for it at all.  No, really.

Tommy want wingie. Off Duty Mom want more Tommy.

10.  Tommy Boy –  yes, really.

There you go.  Therapy complete.  I feel better now, thanks.

You know, anyone can admit to liking John Hughes movies, Justin Timberlake, and Modern Family (which I do).  But only someone who is ready for real honesty will put it on the internet that she once owned a pink, knit Debbie Gibson hat.  Yup.

“Bikinis, zucchinis, martinis, no weenies”

 

With his phenomenal lyrical prowess, it is shocking -- shocking, I say -- that Juvenile didn't go further in his career.

The older I get, the older I get.

I barely understood my own youth culture half the time.

Then, I became a teacher. I thought I was young and easy to relate to at 22. But in actuality, I had no patience for or frame of reference by which to truly understand pants that start at your thighs, giant, tire-sized piercings or obsessions with Justin Bieber.

If I can’t even relate to a Juvenile (yeah–that was really his stage name. I don’t think irony was intended) song that came out the same year I graduated from college, I don’t know how I will be able to connect with my kids’ generation.

Yet, I still try to understand that song from the 90’s. I heard it today. Here’s what I gathered:

The gentleman insists that his female companion reverse her direction and move her pear-shaped physique in his direction. Repeatedly. Perhaps this young woman is afflicted with some type of malady that increases the size of her hindquarters and also causes her to be hard of hearing. If, indeed, she were suffering from hearing loss, that would be unfortunate since she’d miss the opportunity to hear the veritable cornucopia of words that rhyme with “yeah,” most of which, not surprisingly, are actually the word “yeah” itself. Fascinating.  And it doesn’t end there.

Ummm...it's not just me, right? I can't be the only one who doesn't understand how some people get to be famous.

Does Britney Spears really resurrect the world’s worst pick-up line from about 1982 and ask, “If I said I want your body now, would you hold it against me?”  Did Will Smith not teach his kid better writing ideas other than “I whip my hair back and forth?”  Did Nicki Minaj just say that her panties were coming off?  Did the Black Eyed Peas really tell me to, “Get up off [their] genitals?”  Just when I didn’t think it could get worse than “My Humps.”  But, then, I realized that J. Lo’s 2011 song features a briliant piece of artistry: 

“That badonkadonk is like a trunk full of bass on an old-school Chevy
Seven tray donky donk
All I need is some vodka and some shonky-tonk
And watch she gon’ get Donkey Kong”

>sigh<  I just don’t even know what to say about that.  Luckily, someone else did:  http://entertainment.ca.msn.com/music/photos/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=29514912&page=10

 

There's a novel idea: THINKING. Thank you, Chuck D.

I used to think that my parents were so lame because they thought that 10,000 Maniacs were a riotous punk bank (they must be with that name, right?) and that Nirvana was shocking for busting up so many guitars.  And, forget gangsta rap from my youth of the late 80’s — I wasn’t allowed to listen to it, but at least it had a message.  And a point.  If you tell me that 9-1-1 is a “joke,” I can at least understand your plight in the American ghettos and the idea that your community is continually ignored by the very system that is supposed to save human lives.  What I will not soon understand is Rihanna begging to be loved like she’s “a hot pie.” 

I don’t know what I would do if I had to listen to my kids hear Katy Perry ask to see someone’s peacock, cock, cock, cock. Honestly. That’s a real song, people. I wish I were kidding.

When my 3-year old is 16, what crap will he be listening to?  And what stupid shit is he going to do to his hair?

What I’d love to know is whether I am just old and out of touch or if popular culture is just becoming that much more vapid. 

Your daughter's role model. I actually found a picture that wasn't overtly sexual. Winning.

Of course, I prefer to believe that youth culture sucks.  I don’t think that’s all there is to it, though. 

Truth is, I am now my parents.  How did that happen?

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: