Off Duty Mom

Thoughts from an exhausted mom who is NEVER really "off duty"

Ways I will judge you

I am not terribly likeable in person.

It’s okay.  I’m cool with that.  People who get to know me learn that what appears to be a proclivity toward stuck-uppitude is actually a little anxiety and a whole lot of self-consciousness.

Just because I tend toward the shy side in small groups doesn’t mean that I am not just a little stuck-up, though.

For example, I will make fairly irreversible judgments about…

1.  Your ability to use “THERE,” “THEIR” and “THEY’RE” correctly in writing.


2.  Whether you are out in public wearing an anklet.

Anklet under nylons with open-toed shoes= even more judgment.

Anklet under nylons with open-toed shoes= even more judgment.

3.  Whether you open the door for others.

4.  How firm your handshake is.

5.  Whether you drink any type of wine (sparkling or otherwise) that is pink in color.

Even better:  pink wine in a box.

Even better: pink wine in a box.

6.  Whether I can say the words “oligarchy,” “cerebral,” “phantasmagorical,” “echelon” and “fuck” in your presence without feeling either condescending or chastised.

7.  Whether you have read a book – in its entirety – in the past 6 months.

8.  How nice your teeth are.


9.  Whether you ignore your children when they attempt to run around among all the tables at Olive Garden.

10. How much very personal information you post about on Facebook.


What about you?  Anything you see in others that you just can’t help judging immediately?

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15 thoughts on “Ways I will judge you

  1. Lol, I’m TOTALLY judging you for eating at Olive Garden!!

  2. I will judge you for referring to things you find on pinterest as it is the source of all low self-esteem.

  3. I will judge you for having your butt crack hanging out of your jeans, while I’m trying to enjoy my dinner! How can one not feel the breeze??:)

  4. Interesting list there that you use to judge people. Based on it, I am not sure how you would feel about me. That’s okay. I can handle it.

  5. Interesting list 😉
    I’m wondering what you think is a good handshake…I don’t like the little fingertip shake (like I’m diseased) and I have been known to make a hand crack when I shake it 😉

    I have to say I judge women that lead with their boobies in mixed company or those that smoke in the car with their kids

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