Life in the Middle
I realized recently that I’d been living — for a long time — in the middle.
I have had a job that is okay for about 4 years now. It’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s somewhere in the middle.
My days, otherwise, are not active. They’re not entirely sedentary. They’re somewhere in the middle.
My clothes, shoes, handbags and other girly things are not extravagant. They’re not meager. They’re somewhere in the middle.
I am not too fat. I am not too skinny. I am somewhere in the middle
I don’t get to read a whole lot. Yet, I am not living totally booklessly. I am somewhere in the middle.
My diet is not healthy. It is not indulgent. It is somewhere in the middle.
My weekends aren’t typically spent doing adventurous things. They’re not spent entirely in front of the TV, either. It’s somewhere in the middle.
My daily work is not terribly engaging. It’s also not completely boring all of the time. It’s somewhere in the middle.
My home is neither large nor small. It is somewhere in the middle.
I’ve not fully lived up to my intellectual potential. I am also not exactly sitting around as an aimless high-school dropout. I am somewhere in the middle.
I don’t get to spend most of my time with my children. I don’t see them infrequently, either. It’s somewhere in the middle.
I’m not a bad cook. I’m not a great cook, either. I am somewhere in the middle.
I am sure I am not always the best example for my kids. I am certain that I am far from the worst. I am somewhere in the middle.
I don’t wake up each day excited for the possibilities it will bring. I also don’t wake up and find it terrifying or exhausting to think about getting out of bed. I am somewhere in the middle.
All of this has left me wondering whether I am really living my life well. And, if I am not, when do I intend to start doing so?
Perhaps too many of us are afraid to take real risks because with the chance of experiencing very high “highs,” we have to risk experiencing very low “lows,” too. My old job was like that. There were tons of hills and valleys. No — mountains and abysses. Or, meteoric peaks and vortexes of darkness.
Yet here I am now living a life that is… tepid.
So, I am trying to dig in to my “bucket” list. It is time to cross some things off, face some fears and start living life as a better me.
None of us gets a second chance, right? There is but one lifetime for each of us.
I’d like to know what each of you has done lately that demonstrates that you’re living the best life you can live. I know I am not alone it this middle ground. Let us all gather strength to conquer a better existence together.
I’ll start: last month, I faced one of my biggest fears. I have spent my life absolutely embarrassingly terrified of boats. I can swim. I am not afraid of water. But, I am afraid of getting sucked under an enormous body of water Titanic-style. And, I am scared of being helpless and stranded away from land and civilization with no control over my whereabouts. But, I got on a fishing boat in the Gulf of Mexico in May and set out 5 miles away from shore to lay my godmother to rest in the beautiful waters off of Clearwater, Florida. Never in a gazillion years would I have imagined that I could do that without becoming hysterical or needing prescription sedatives. But, I did it. I didn’t even cry once. Or rely on pharmaceuticals for an easier go of it. Now, I am not jumping up excitedly trying to clamor onto another boat anytime soon. I am not miraculously cured of my baseless fear. But, I faced it.
How have you made yourself proud lately? Let us know. Your comments are always welcome.
Tell us how you’re getting or staying out of the middle.